


He's His Lobster

by ThatwasJustaDream



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Community: 1-million-words, Dialogue-Only, Fluff, M/M, birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 02:23:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2133516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/pseuds/ThatwasJustaDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve has zero idea what he's just promised to Grace. Danny has context...and Google. It all works out fine, and Grace gets her birthday wish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's His Lobster

**Author's Note:**

  * For [haldoor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/haldoor/gifts).



> This is fic present 1 of 2 for Haldoor's birthday on the 1_million_words comm!! H, I promise your second fic will be slash...but somehow this hugely fluffy thing is what came out tonight. :). I hope you get a laugh from it.

"We have to be lobsters. Danny… seriously, stop making that face, quit scrubbing down the grill for a second and listen? We have to be…"

"Hmmm? What the hell are you…."

"I don't know, that's the problem and it's kind of freaking me out. _Crap_ , why did I ever….."

"Why did you ever what?"

"I love her, you know I really do, Danno; Grace means the world to me but … _geez_ , all I asked was 'what do you want for your birthday?' and…"

"She told you that you and I need to turn into lobsters?"

"No. That would be…absurd."

"Exactly. So what, precisely, did she…"

"She said 'tell my dad you're his lobster.' Just like that - tell him you're his lobster. I thought I was getting good at understanding the lingo but crap… I just _promised_ something to her, Danny, I …kind of gut reacted to the look on her face and….I have no idea what I agreed to?"

"Well…if it came out of Gracie's mouth, what the hell could it mean that would be so bad? Right?"

"Yeah… I get what you're saying but….what are you doing?"

"Googling."

"I see. Why are you…do you know what she…"

"Yes. I know precisely what she. I'm pulling up a video clip. Gotta be on YouTube, right? Yup….here. Watch."

"What the…. she was maybe minus one when this show ended."

"It's the current thing. Kids in their 20s think it's a show for old people, and kids Grace's age are hooked. Watch… it's …this clip. Here. Ross and Rachel and the videotape of prom night and…."

"Oh……he's her lobster."

"Yeah. Smarmy as all fuck, huh? But in her defense, Grace is fourteen and that's primetime for smarmy as fuck, so…."

"Well, she's absolutely right."

"Excuse me?"

"I am. Your lobster. Damn….I was almost having a heart attack and all she wanted from me was…"

"You are?"

"Yeah, D. Got anyone else vying to be your lobster? Because if you do then you and I have a serious problem."

"No. Of course not. Wow. I kind of knew she knew, you know? About us. But I didn't know she…"

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"My lobster?"

"Will you stop with the…."

"I'm going to need an answer."

"Yes. I'm your freaking lobster, Steven. But if you tell anyone other than Grace about this conversation - and I mean anyone, ever…"

"No problem."

"No?"

"We'll keep it between us crustaceans."

"What are you.. get off me, keep your dirty… claws to yourself."

"C'mon, Danny, let's rub tails…."

"Stop. It. My daughter is yards away inside your house, probably watching to see if…"

"Later then?"

"Yeah. Later, we'll rub tails."

"Hey Danny…"

"I'll regret this, but…what?"

"Do they make sounds? Lobsters?"

"When you boil them, they make a really supersonic high pitched squeak. It's…pitiful."

"Will you practice that for me? For tonight? Your squeak?"

"I will kill you in your sleep if you don't drop this."

"I'll go get the hamburgers from the fridge."

"That would be wise. Thank God we're not having seafood…."

**Author's Note:**

> The 'he's her lobster' gag ran through a whole episode, [but this is the punchline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQQ8kXfn9Iw) \- not sure if it'll work but...in case.


End file.
